Hi i am Winny ( not real name)
Firstly, when i was much younger, there was this guy i dated, he was way older than i was, about 7years older.
Ladies often have this misconception of (date older guys, he’s more mature in all areas.)
He was my first but suddenly i started doubting his loyalty and his professed love for me, how funny that was. It pushed me to luring a dude (not something i am proud of by the way) who i never knew had close ties with my boyfriend to sleep with me just for the thought of getting back at him. “Guys will always be guys” you know that saying right? So, he spilled everything that happened between us to this my boyfriend who didn’t in anyway mention the incident.
I kept on pushing him off with my nasty attitude and behavior. Yea, did i mention i was younger and didn’t really know what relationship entailed?
He couldn’t handle my childish behaviour anymore, so he left. I grieved for some time then i moved on.
As time went by i met someone else. This time hoping to make all things right, i made sure he was someone i could trust and talk to. In my previous relationship i couldn’t get myself to share some things with him nor get really comfortable around him, so I made sure this dude was 3years older, I could confide and relate some issues with him.
I promised myself that i was never going to cheat on this guy since it was my cheating that ended the last relationship. That was how my love grew so strong and unconditional. first week in the relationship i recounted to him about this guy who kept on pressuring me, not knowing it was all a set up. I felt really embarrassed knowing he was so insecure, doesn’t trust me enough and always felt i was gonna leave him.
He monitored my every move and calls i received. Then stupid me never knew he had a baby mama, that’s how he had me beaten on several occasions because of calls i received, suspecting it to be from other dudes. Stupid me kept on telling myself “he will change”, I kept at the relationship hoping that someday something nice would come from it. So we continued.
Worst of all, he was never having money, he kept on saying “I am broke”. Brother never had a dime to give. Most times i paid for all the bills, including the times we lodged at hotels. I sent him money several times to foot his endless needs. Oh i forgot to mention that i had my own business then, my business was running down I was not stocking up to replace my sold goods, I had said to myself, “love is blind to all faults” , that was how he lost his phone and he blamed me for it saying I’m his bad luck.
I was left with no other option than to get him another phone that I ordered from a popular phone and accessories platform online, which I had delivered to him.
Boom! I became pregnant. He insisted I keep it. To my utmost dismay I never saw any good move from his end, we just kept arguing. Then it struck me big, I was not going to have this baby with him. I decided to risk having an abortion while I was 3 months gone.
There was this married man in particular who kept on pressuring me for relationship then. I played smart had the pregnancy pinned on him, he saw to the footing of my hospital bills and other stuff.
Mind you this was most of all a very painful and gory experience that i won’t wish my enemy.
After i recovered from the surgery, i still took my sorry ass to my boyfriend who never came to check on me at the hospital.
I came to him begging him to take me back so he agreed. Gradually the relationship was picking up, things got better.
Fast forward to January this year i found that himself and a very close of mine were texting, video calling and sharing nude pictures with themselves.
I confronted him and he apologized, came to my house and spent some days begging. I thought he would change not until i received a text from a friend and lo it was proof of my boyfriend uploading my friends photos to his WhatsApp status with love caption. I went straight to his house were he started begging, at this point i was confused, he was pleading that he couldn’t do without me, then it struck me that nothing good was gonna come from him and the relationship.
It was really a toxic relationship, I had to leave before I die before my time.
I hope someone out there learns from my experience, don’t hide under the guise of love and get hurt from someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you. Be wise.
When you are not ready for it don’t force it. Wait till your mind can grasp it in full.
BE STRONG BUT NOT RUDE, BE KIND BUT NOT WEAK, BE HUMBLE BUT NOT TIMID, BE PROUD BUT NOT ARROGANT.
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